Saturday, January 25, 2014

I have to and want to be all these different people and I just... I just...can't!!!

If the whole world were to tell me that I was the only one who felt this way, I would smile, cry myself to sleep that night and wake up glad that only I know how this feels. But I read books. And too many of them are filled with girls and boys trying to meet and exceed the expectations and wants of those around them. And not being able to. Trying to be a good Christian, a good son or daughter, a good student, a good athlete, a cool boy/girl in school, etc. and failing and crying when nobody sees. Sometimes it's not just what others expect, but who we want to be too. And sometimes who we want to be is placed on the wish-list while we work on those people we "have" to be.How, oh how, should we balance everything? What should we do to not go crazy or more likely severely depressed from all the constant pressure?

Believe me, if I had all the answers I would tell you. If I knew how to skip by those depressing moments and always be content with who God made me to be, I would have done it a long time ago. Life would be cool. I would have to work on not being prideful, but I would have said a relieved "goodbye!" to all those unpleasant things called "expectations I simply cannot live up to". But I don't have all the answers. And I get frustrated often enough that I'm not as good as I could be, not the someone God and my parents and others want me to be.



The only answer I know is turn to God. He won't put us down and scowl at us for not being perfect. He knows we can't be. He'll be as much by our side when we fail and make mistakes as He is when everything's going well. We need to trust Him.

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