Boiling emotions, confused thoughts

~Tuesday Thoughts~

Sometimes life is extremely hard. We try to make it livable, but it doesn't seem to work. We pretend that everything's okay. We smile and loftily avoid the "how are you doing?" question. Or we give white lies. We're doing okay, aren't we? For sure no one needs to know how broken and confused we are. How many times we have cried in the safety of our bedroom. Except, is it even safe, if that's when the suicidal thoughts come in? If that's when we tell ourselves we're worthless? Where should our worth come from anyway? And why does it seem that everything that used to define us is suddenly lost? Who are we when everybody who used to care has moved on? Are we supposed to move on after having feelings for someone who will probably never have feelings for us? What are we supposed to do with the anger that keeps arising when we don't get what we've been promised? Why do we promise way more than we can do? What are we supposed to do when we don't measure up to our own standards?  

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
    Why are you so far from saving me,
    so far from my cries of anguish?
  My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,
    by night, but I find no rest.[b]
  Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One;
    you are the one Israel praises.[c]
  In you our ancestors put their trust;
    they trusted and you delivered them.
  To you they cried out and were saved;
    in you they trusted and were not put to shame. Psalm 22:1-5 (NIV)

No matter how confusing, annoying, harsh, and depressing life can get, we can always lean on God. This might seem like an overused statement, but God is really always there. He does not have to care for us. He wants to. He has never left His children before; the world is full of stories of His amazing love and grace. There is absolutely no one who will always have our back except Him. His unfailing mercy won't fail on us. We can cry out to Him and know that He hears our cry - or our yell. He will answer. Perhaps not when and how we want Him to, but He will answer. Amen? Amen!